|
The Early
Years Do Last Forever
|
| • |
Recent research shows
that babies must have lots of loving experiences: cuddling,
holding, touching and talking. Babies need this important time
to connect with you! These loving experiences determine how
your baby grows mentally, emotionally, and physically. Your
baby will grow from these early experiences for the rest of
her life. |
| • |
Build trust. Respond
to your baby's needs. Show her and tell her you love her. Enjoy
your baby! Time will pass very quickly. The effort you put in
now will carry over through the teen years. |
| Taking Care of Yourself |
| • |
Parenting is hard work!
It can be very tiring! When you are stressed, it is hard to
parent. Keep yourself healthy. Take time for yourself! It can
be as simple as a nice warm bath or walk. It helps to talk to
friends with young children about both pleasant and frustrating
experiences. |
| • |
Raising children will
be the most unselfish and important responsibility you will
ever have. |
| • |
You can spoil food–
you can't spoil babies! |
| When
Your Baby Cries |
| • |
A baby cries for many
reasons. She is not trying to annoy you. It is just her way
of letting you know she needs something. There are a number
of ways to try to calm her. If what you tried is not working,
try something else. Here are some ways to calm your baby: |
| |
| Why Your Baby Cries |
What You Can Do |
| Hunger |
Your baby may be eating every
hour if you are breastfeeding, and every two hours if
you are bottle feeding. Even if it seems like you just
fed her, she may be hungry again. |
| Wet or dirty
Diaper |
You will probably be changing
your baby's diaper at least six to eight times each day.
She may have diaper rash. See
Health &
Safety |
| Needs Attention |
Cuddle your baby. Talk and sing
to her. Babies need to feel your touch and hear your soothing
voice. This helps your baby feel secure. |
| Sleepy |
Rock your baby. Rocking, while sitting or
standing, is soothing. |
| Illness |
Check for fever or other
symptoms. See Health &
Safety |
| Fussy |
Play soft music or sing to them.
Babies may need to be removed
from a lot of activity and have
some quiet time to just watch you. |
| Too hot or too cold |
Dress your baby as you do your-
self for the weather. When it is cool, she will need one
more layer than you. Examples: hat, mittens, or sweater. |
|
| Danger! |
| In spite of what you
do, babies do not always calm down right away. Nearly all parents
may feel frustrated, impatient, or angry at times. Always remember: |
| NEVER SHAKE OR HIT
YOUR BABY! |
Shaking or hitting your
infant can cause brain damage
or death. If you feel frustrated or angry, let the baby cry
if you must. Put your baby in her crib or another safe
place. |
| Take a 10-minute
break and try one of these: |
| • |
Call a friend or relative. |
| • |
Exercise. |
| • |
Put on favorite music or watch TV. |
| • |
Draw, or write down your thoughts. |
| • |
Take a bath or shower. |
| • |
Develop support groups
for you and your young children.
Find ways to get out: |
| • |
Share babysitting with friends. |
| • |
Form playgroups for one morning a
week. |
| • |
Choose a good daycare for ½
to 1 day a week. |
| • |
Go for walks or bike rides with your
child in a safe backpack or bike carrier. |
| Helping
Children Be Successful |
| The Power
of Prevention |
Parents can help prevent
some behavior problems.
Plan ahead! |
| • |
If possible, do not take a hungry,
tired child any place
you will need him to be patient and calm.
Examples: grocery store, dentist, running errands. |
| • |
Take things that will help your child
play quietly.
Examples: crayons, paper, books, food, small toys. |
| • |
Help children change from one activity
to the next.
Give children warning ahead of time. Example: "We
are leaving the park in five minutes. What is the one
last thing you want to do?" |
Your action is your
child's most powerful teacher. As your
children watch you, they learn about themselves and the
world. |
| • |
If you are loving, positive, and
kind, your child learns
to be cooperative and to treat others with respect. |
| • |
If you yell, hit, and punish, your
children may learn to
hurt themselves and others. |
| • |
If you nurture your children and
yourself, your children
learn that they are important and valuable. |
| • |
If you listen to your children, your
children learn they
are appreciated. They will learn to listen to others. |
| Listening |
"Listening
to our children will bring about more cooperation than all the
yelling and pleading in the world."
From HOW TO TALK SO KIDS WILL LISTEN AND HOW TO LISTEN SO
KIDS WILL TALK
by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. |
| How to really listen: |
| • |
Give your child your full attention. |
| • |
Keep eye contact. Talk to her at
her eye level. |
| • |
Show your child you hear
her with words like "oh," or "I see." |
| • |
Give her feelings a name. Check to
see that you understand. "So you're feeling angry because
your sister grabbed the toy out of your hand?" |
| • |
Accept your child's feelings. All
feelings are O.K., all
behaviors are not. Decide how angry feelings can be
expressed in your family. |
| • |
Give time for feelings. Don't jump
too soon to problem solving. |
| Discipline
Is Teaching Self-Control and Cooperation |
| Setting
Limits for Your Child |
| |
1. Setting limits means having
rules. Parents must set
up rules that are fair.
2. Setting limits means having consequences.
Consequences are things that will happen as a result
of your child's actions.
3. Setting limits means follow-through. Follow limits
and
consequences you have set up every time. |
| Fair Consequences
Are... |
| • |
RESPECTFUL—
State the rules clearly and kindly. Keep your voice firm, yet
friendly.
REASONABLE—
Be fair. Remember the age of your child.
RELATED TO MISBEHAVIOR—
Example: If your child scribbles on the wall, taking away the
crayons and having your child clean the wall is related to their
misbehavior. Taking away TV is not related.
REVEALED AHEAD OF TIME—
The first time the misbehavior happens, the child is told what
will happen if the behavior happens again. This is why logical
consequences work best for problems that have happened before.
TEACHING RESPONSIBILITY—
Setting limits with consequences teaches children they are responsible
for their own actions. |
| Temper Tantrums |
Temper tantrums are
normal in children, and there are
several healthy ways to deal with them. |
| • |
Ignore the tantrum and allow your
child to get rid of the energy. She will not get attention for
this behavior and will decrease her use of tantrums. |
| • |
Pick your child up and hold snugly
to help her calm down. |
| • |
Give one warning. Use a consequence
explained beforehand or use "Time Out" as described
below. |
| The following tips
are also helpful in dealing with tantrums: |
| • |
If you are in a store
or other awkward place, it is often
best to leave. |
| • |
Explain to your child why tantrums
are not acceptable. Example:"You can be hurt." |
| • |
Do not allow your child to get her
way with a temper tantrum. |
| • |
Do not scream or spank for having
a tantrum. Everyone is angry and frustrated, and the situation
just becomes worse. |
| • |
Never lose control to the point you
might injure your child. Please call for help. Your doctor and
clinic understand how difficult some children can be at times.
They will assist you if you have a child who is not responding
to reasonable discipline. |
| Instead of Spanking |
| Try different ways
to manage your child's behavior. |
| • |
Clearly explain what
you expect to all children, even infants. |
| • |
Use "Time Out" carefully.
|
| • |
Follow through every time with fair
consequences,
things that happen as a result of your child's actions |
| Time Out. .
. A Way to Learn Self-Control |
| • |
The goal of "Time Out"
is to teach self-control. It also gives both you and your child
time to calm down and solve the problem. |
| |
Remember– |
| • |
Different things work for different
children. |
| • |
Time Out may not work for all children. |
When your child misbehaves,
he needs time and space to
cool down. This means away from toys and distractions—
maybe a different room, or a couch in the same room. |
| |
1. Tell her clearly what you
expect. Example: "When you hit, it hurts people. In our
house, we don't hit."
2. Say, "When you have calmed yourself down, then
you may come back."
3. Ignore all comments, whining, or arguments.
4. Stick to your consistent rules.
5. If misbehavior continues, repeat the process. It may
take several times at first.
6. When she returns, be sure to comment on her good behavior.
Example: "I really like you using your
words and not hitting your sister."
7. After you and your child are calm, talk about the
feelings of both you and your child. Also talk about what behavior
you expect. Clearly explain the consequences for the misbehavior
the next time.
8. A hug is always good to give her! |
If Time
Out does not work for your child, try other calming
methods: |
| • |
Distract a very young child with
something else. |
| • |
Encourage your child to bounce a
ball or pound on
the floor. |
| • |
Rock your child in a rocking chair. |
| • |
Take a walk with your child. |
Who Do I Call
for More Information?
For Parents |
| Born To Succeed,
Choices, Parent Project |
736-4215 Ext. 3113
|
| MECCA |
735-5104
|
| Head Start |
734-5550
|
| College of Southern Idaho -
Center for New Directions |
733-9554 Ext. 2680
|
| College of
Southern Idaho - Continuing Education |
733-9554 Ext. 2288
|
| Jerome School District |
324-2392
|
| Twin Falls
School District |
733-6900
|
| Idaho Migrant Council |
734-3336
|
| South Central
District Health Dept. |
734-5900
|
| Careline |
1-800-926-2588
|
| Careline
Spanish |
1-800-677-1848
|
Activities & Classes for All Children
| Jerome
Public Library |
324-5427
|
| Twin Falls Public Library |
733-2964
|
| City of Twin
Falls - Parks & Recreation |
736-2265
|
| County of Twin Falls - Parks
& Recreation |
734-9491
|
| College of
Southern Idaho - Continuing Education |
733-9554 Ext. 2288
|
| YMCA |
733-4384
|
Activities & Classes for Children Five and Older
| Children
Five and Older |
736-2265
|
| Boy Scouts of America |
733-2067
|
| Girl Scouts
of Silver Sage |
733-9623
|
| Boy & Girls Club of Magic
Valley |
736-7011
|
| Salvation
Army |
733-0569
|
| YMCA |
733-4384
|
| School Lunch Buddy Program |
736-4215 Ext. 3118
|
|
| Fathers
are Important, Too |
| Studies
show the importance of a father's involvement: |
| • |
Their children get better
grades in school. |
| • |
Their children are less
likely to be involved with drugs and alcohol. |
| • |
Their children are more
emotionally secure as a result of a warm, close relationship
with their father. |
| • |
Father/child interaction
provides a high level of positive, playful activities. |
| |
Both mother and father need to
be involved with their children: |
| • |
The way a child feels
about his father is similar to how the mother feels about the
father. |
| • |
Daughters are less likely
to engage in sexual activity at an early age. |
| Single
Parents |
| If you are
raising children alone, it can be very challenging and exhausting.
It is so important to take care of yourself and to ask for help.
Single parents do well and children do not suffer when the parent
who has the major custody... |
| • |
Is financially stable. |
| • |
Has a support system-through
friends, family, clubs, or church. |
| • |
Works at a satisfying job. |
| • |
Has a positive social life. |
| • |
Communicates well with
the other parent. |
| • |
Uses the same discipline style as
the other parent. |
| • |
If there is no second parent, reach
out to support groups
for help. |
Single
Parent Resources
| YMCA
|
733-4384
|
| Boy & Girls Club of Magic
Valley |
736-7011
|
| Idaho Migrant
Council |
734-3336
|
| Parents Without Partners |
1-800-637-7974
|
For Information Regarding Classes For Single Parents
| Jerome
School District |
324-2392
|
| Twin Falls School District |
733-6900
|
| College of
Southern Idaho - Center for New Directions |
733-9554 Ext. 2680
|
| College of Southern Idaho -
Continuing Education |
733-9554 Ext. 2288
|
| Parent
Project |
736-4215 Ext. 3113
|
|
| Blended
Families |
| Blending step-families
can be a challenge. |
| Some helpful tips: |
| • |
Biological parents should
do most of the discipline until the stepparent has developed
a strong relationship with the child. |
| • |
Family meetings help with communication. |
| • |
Listening and talking can help with
all the differences and adjustments. |
| • |
Classes and counseling can help the
entire family. |
For Suggestions
on Counseling
| Idaho
CareLine |
1-800-926-2588
|
| TTY Hearing & Speech Impaired |
1-800-377-3529
|
|
| Working
Parents |
| The challenge of many
parents today is to balance work and home. Make a difference
in your child's life. |
| KEEP PARENTING A
TOP PRIORITY! |
| Try... |
| • |
Setting aside special
one-on-one time each week for each child. |
| • |
Leaving pleasant, personal
notes for children to find- not just chore lists. |
| • |
Making meals and other
household tasks more simple and fun to share. |
| • |
Saying "NO" to extra
work that takes more time away from your children. |
| • |
Encouraging "family friendly"
policies at work. |
| |
Kids come first! |
| TV/Video/Computer |
| TV, videos and computers
are problems when... |
| • |
There is no parent supervision. |
| • |
Children see inappropriate things. |
| • |
Children see violence
as an attractive way to solve problems. |
| • |
Advertising strongly affects children. |
| • |
Children do not use their own imagination. |
| • |
Children do not speak enough to develop
language skills. |
| • |
More than one to two hours a day
is spent in front of them. |
| • |
Children do not have enough physical
activity. |
| TV, videos and computers
are helpful when... |
| • |
They create enthusiasm
for learning and reading. |
| • |
They encourage creativity and critical
thinking. |
| • |
They reinforce values you are trying
to teach. |
| • |
They expose children to other cultures
and people. |
| • |
Parents are involved in the activity. |
| • |
Parents are careful about the length
of time children are using them. |
For
more ideas on responsible TV viewing call:
| Idaho Public Television |
208-373-7220
|
|
| Idaho
parents do not support couch potatoes!! |
| Happy
Parenting! |
| Parenting
is a process. It is a balance of taking care of your child and
taking care of yourself. It takes time and patience. |
| Find and use support
from the following: |
| • |
Your friends, neighbors,
and family. |
| • |
Your church or synagogue. |
| • |
Your schools. |
| • |
People at work. |
| • |
Parenting classes. |
| Parenting
with love, trust, and firm limits will build a positive and
enjoyable relationship with your children. Your children will
develop into happy, responsible and caring adults. This job
will be one of the most satisfying things you will ever do! |
Success By 6 ®
has created this book just for you.
Success By 6 ® wants to help you get a healthy, successful,
and loving start in your parent and child relationship. |
| When you
have questions, call the resources
provided. These people and organizations are there for you!
They will help encourage you and answer your questions and concerns. |
| All children
will grow up... We make a difference in how they grow up! |
 |
| |
|
::
Introduction
Parenting
